Your Blood in My Vessels
rigid body, silent heart, dull eyes
the dead monster guarding my home
safest when not around
source of all evil
warm spots shrink
when your breath pollutes the air
lungs black from your cigarette smoke
smelling of it when I flee
frantically searching
anywhere, anywhere, but here
any pair of eyes, but his
to look my way
see the real me
the one I have yet to meet
real love is to let you step on my neck
and apologise for ruining your shoes
for what is a daughter
but a training soldier
worshipping her rigorous chief
flinching at the sound of your laugh
mistaken for the war sirens you once let out
needing to read the love between lines
having to appreciate it
I draw your blood out
raging hot scarlet
hollowing my veins so maybe
they’d see less of you in me
I’ve never really loved you
I pity you